Thursday, October 25, 2018

Turn That Radio Off!!!

     On more than one occasion of late, I have heard discussions, or read them online, about the dismal state of the local “modern” rock station here in Pittsburgh.  From the lack of actual music being played on the station to the restrictive playlist of mediocrity when they do play music.
     The last time I voluntarily tuned into the station had to have been about ten years ago.  I had a loaner car from a dealership while my car was getting worked on and FM radio was my only listening option.  I dialed in only to hear some guy screaming at me about some sort of sport.  It had been a while since I listened to the station so I thought they changed format to a sports station.  I immediately went back to the left of the dial in a futile effort to tune in one of the local college stations.  Static was all I could find so the only thing I had to listen to was the constant ringing in my ears.
     I have always had a hate/hate relationship with the station ever since 1996 or so when their parent company, Clear Channel, bought up a competing station with a similar format and changed it to “smooth jazz.”  Whatever that is.  They couldn't beat the other station in the ratings so they bought them.  Clear Channel now goes by the name of iHeart Radio and is, not surprisingly, a subsidiary of Bain Capital.
     I used to lug gear for one of the DJs on the oldies station that was also owned by Clear Channel. They pay so well that he had to take up side gigs playing music at car shows and weddings just to make ends meet.  During the drives to and from whatever event that neither of us cared about, he would clue me in to how Clear Channel worked.
     Songs that were stored on the hard drive at the station would be played a few beats per second faster than they should have been.  The strategy behind speeding up the music was so there would be extra time for another commercial to be squeezed in during the hour.  This is why he always dragged around a couple of gym bags filled with CDs.  And as much as it was a pain in the ass for him to drag those bags around, he always refused to put his CDs on the hard drive.  He hosted a specialty show on Sunday nights and figured if he put his music on their hard drive, the station wouldn't need him anymore.
     He also explained to me what he called the Clear Channel “cradle to the grave” formatting strategy.  Clear Channel wanted to own a broadcast frequency with every viable format, in every market.  Top 40, Classic Rock, Modern Rock, Oldies, Country, Conservative Talk and sports.  This spread of formats was to ensure that they had listeners covered across every stage of their lives.  It wasn't about the quality of the content as much as the quantity of the content.  They wanted to tell you what you liked and when you will like it.  Given the proliferation of country music stations in Pittsburgh, I think this strategy may have been abandoned.
     The restrictive nature of the playlist is my biggest issue with the “modern” rock station.  It seems like their playlist has a framework of the same fifty songs throughout the day.  Allowing the DJ to stray from it only a few times during their shift in order to personalize their show a minimal amount.
Add to that the fact that some of these bands are indistinguishable from one another.  I don't think I could tell the difference between Godsmack, Nickelback, Creed or Disturbed if my life depended on it.  And they've been playing some of these songs for nearly twenty years.  Dead horse syndrome has to kick in at some point.
     They do have a “prehistoric” specialty show on Sunday mornings, where they get into older punk and new wave but I can't figure out why the regular playlist isn't expanded to include this music.  Why would I set my alarm to get up early on a Sunday to listen to music that is played at the wrong speed when I can put those records on any time I want to?  It doesn't make sense to relegate the good music to a low rating, time slot ghetto.
     And that's because it's never been about music for Clear Channel or whatever they're calling themselves this week.  They only care about ad dollars and media buys.  The format of the station is only a vehicle to get the advertisements into your ears.  That's why they also have a billboard division in some cities.  Getting ads into your ears wasn't enough, they also have to put them in your face while you're stuck in traffic.
     Clear Channel has bought up a large chunk of the outdoor music venues and also owns TicketBastard.   They have found a way to capitalize on almost every part of being a fan of music. That's why I'm glad I only tend to go to small club shows and try to find a way around paying the exorbitant fees they put on tickets.  The last time I bought a ticket through TicketBastard, the base price of the ticket was $25.  The final cost of the ticket was $40.  I can't figure out how there were $15 of “convenience” fees added to the cost of the ticket.  I can understand a fee to process the credit card transaction and to drop the ticket in the mail but that sure as shit doesn't cost $15.
     My self imposed boycott of this heaping pile of bullshit isn't all that hard to keep up.   I hate outdoor shows and other larger venues (Stage AE, I'm aiming my middle finger at you.)  Unless a band is on the shortlist in my head, I'll skip the show on principle.  I've got a house full of records and a hard drive with several terabytes of music on it so I don't need their radio stations either.  I can go from Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds to High On Fire to Minor Threat without being rudely interrupted by Dave Matthews or a sports call-in show.
     I know that there is the local NPR affiliate that most people would point to for being an alternative to the Alternative Rock station but they seem to be stuck in their own rut of mid-tempo singer/songwriters.  You've got to wait until the graveyard shift to hear something without an acoustic guitar or a flute in it.
     Nothing on the airwaves in Pittsburgh seems to be aimed at me so I think I'll be just fine without them.  My iPod is my friend and all hail the mighty turntable.


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