This morning, I dragged my carcass
into the office of my soul suck of a day job to find the temperature
getting up to damn near 90 degrees. Normally, it is a bit warm in
the mornings because the AC shuts off overnight and then has to catch
up but this amount of heat was way out of the ordinary and on the
verge of oppressive.
The management started calling around
to get the HVAC guy on site to get the air conditioner repaired. The
management was able to find out that, apparently, the AC did not
breakdown. There was some sort of company initiative to lower
electricity use so they went around and turned off the ventilation
systems in unoccupied office space.
The key terms here are “unoccupied
office space.” The company was unaware that there was an office
full of people sitting in one of their own buildings. It's nice to
know that I am such a valued employee that my employer doesn't even
know that I exist.
It seems that the AC was able to be
turned off remotely but could not be turned back on in the same
manner. I was sitting in my sweatbox of a cubicle with a severe
swamp ass and bat wings issue going on waiting for the HVAC guy to
show up to flip a switch.
To at least get some air flowing,
there was an attempt to open the windows only to find out that all of
the windows had been bolted shut. This had to be another company
initiative to prevent employees from pretending that they worked in
an iPhone factory and taking a flying leap.
A couple of box fans were found
somewhere in the building which led to the dunderheads that I work
with arguing over which way the fans should be aimed because some of
them didn't want the air blowing on them. A compromise was made to
set up the fans in such a way to ensure that relief was brought to no
one. Let me remind you that these people are adults that somehow
figured out how to tie their shoes and learned how to use a doorknob
in order to leave their houses.
I swear that most of their behaviors
are intended to see if today will be the day they drive me to jamming
my pen into my eye. And for those of you who have been following along, Dorf The Asshole, who has taken on the aroma of dog farts of
late, was smelling extra dog farty in the excessive heat.
Several hours later, the HVAC guy
finally made an appearance, flipped the switch to turn the AC back on
and nothing happened. It seems that the remote shut off fried the
whole system and he couldn't figure out how long it would be until it
was up and running again.
The management had already decreed
that the company dress code would still be in effect, regardless of
how long the AC is broken. So if the air isn't back on any time in
the near future, shorts and a t-shirt were still out of the question. This was just in case we get paid a surprise visit by company
muckety-mucks even though these same muckety-mucks didn't know we
still worked for the company and occupied space when they decided to
shut down the ventilation system. That makes perfect sense. Now I
have to walk around with my balls tucked into my sock so they don't
drag behind me because of some mythical visit from my “superiors.”
How is this my life? Luckily, I was
greeted by Wire reissues in my mailbox when I got home. The band's
first three records Pink Flag,
Chairs Missing, and
154 were recently
remastered and rereleased on Wire's own label. I haven't had a
chance to do the Pepsi challenge yet but so far it sounds like the
mastering on Pink Flag
leaves the old Four Men With Beards mastering in the dust.
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