I'm Glad I Didn't Delete This

Context:  I wrote this a few years ago to submit to the Pittsburgh City Paper as an editorial.  I'm guessing they had no use for it since I never heard back from them.  Oh well.  Given the bizarre reactions to Michelle Wolf's appearance at the White House Correspondents Dinner, I thought this would be a good time to drag this rotting article off of my hard drive.  What a weird world we're living in.  The truth is shouted down when spoken but the media doesn't openly question the lies of the powerful for fear of losing their cozy position next to that power.

     Is it my imagination or wasn't it only about a month ago that people were in the streets and on the internet crying out at the horrors that took place at the Charlie Hebdo offices?  We all stood tall for freedom of speech in the following days.

     When I woke up on Sunday morning, the American media was having a shit fit over Saturday Night Live airing a filmed parody of a car commercial.  In the actual ad, “Daddy's Little Girl” is all grown up and is being dropped off at the airport by her father so she can join the military.  In the Saturday Night Live version of the ad, the daughter is being dropped off at the airport so she can join ISIS/ISIL/or whatever these caliphate loving assholes are being called this week.

     This controversy stinks of being manufactured.  I would like to know how many people actually saw the bit or are they feigning outrage for the sake of feigning outrage?  I know I haven't seen a full episode of SNL, as it aired, since Phil Hartman was a cast member.  And I'm sure at some point during the show the only viewers are members of those bullshit parents organizations that are waiting for a cast member to slip and say “fuck” on live television so they can send a few thousand form letters to the FCC with bogus names and addresses.

     When I saw the the sketch in question, I thought it was the funniest thing the show has done in years.  But then again, I support the terrorists and hate America because I'm a union member and don't hate women, people of a different race or people that are gay.  So what do I know?

     These Ultra-American douchebags had one hell of a week talking Rudy The Super-Mayor off of a ledge because of his attempt at remaining relevant so now it's someone else's turn to twist on the hook.

     The 24-hour news beast needs to be fed so let's keep churning this shit out so another two and a half minutes of air time can be squandered.

     All of the coverage was posing the question to me as “Has SNL gone too far?”  My response to this query was “Have your heads gone too far up your own asses?”

     Over the next week, these easily offended rugged individualists will take a break from staggering in front of cameras to whine about everyone being too sensitive and politically correct to whine about how insensitive the sketch was and that Lorne Michaels should issue a very heartfelt fake apology.  I hope he dusts off his Canadian politeness and responds with a hearty “Shut the fuck up.”

     Let these idiots learn how to turn off their televisions when something they don't like comes across the screen.  Free speech is not a one way street.  In fact, it's not a street at all.  Free speech is as wide open as outer space.  It can't be “Hooray for free speech!!!” one week and “How dare you!!!” the next.

     Fanaticism on one end of the spectrum will always create fanaticism on the opposite end. Especially in the Culture War/Us vs. Them environment of nonsense that is being used as a business model to usher in the downfall of humanity.  The level of discourse in this country has sunk from being the equivalent of professional wrestling to now taking on the mentality of a 6^th grade playground dispute that has devolved into nothing but a series of “Your momma...” jokes.

     If something or someone is batshit crazy we all reserve the right to say that that something or someone is batshit crazy.  End of story.  If you don't like it, put your grown up pants on and use your own freedom of speech to say really stupid things simply because I could use the laugh right about now.

     We are living in historical times. Not because of the greatness of the times in which we live but because their sadness.  We all have a front row seat to witness the end of civilization.